I hate being clumsy

I'm sure some of you will say "I know how DTH feels, I'm clumsy too" but you don't understand. I am Clark Griswold clumsy. You know the character Chevy Chase plays in the vacation movies? Now you get an idea. I've got the scars to prove it. I slipped on ice in the military and shattered my ankle. My hand and foot are just now recovering from me cutting myself then dropping the knife, on the top of my foot. I trip over the dogs at least once a day. Or I'll step on a Hot Wheels car and go flying up in the air only to land on my back. I have dislocated my shoulder several times doing things that anyone else could do 1000 times without even thinking about it.

For instance, trying to pick up a cat. That is the God's honest truth. I also dislocated my OTHER shoulder DRIVING!!! I have a couple scars on my head from "accidents" too. One is where I tripped and hit some speakers when I was a kid. You remember the big wooden boxes they use to have them in. Yeah. Or the time I ran thru a plate glass window because I couldn't open the screen door fast enough. That one took a plastic surgeon to stitch me up. A week ago I gave myself a black eye by hitting myself with the corner of a door. We have to keep lights on in the middle of the night. Not a lot but enough for me to see. I have no night vision, hell I barely have any DAY vision.


Yeah, I have arthritis. I have chronic daily shoulder, ankle, back and knee pain. A dozen or so surgeries and a medical discharge from the Army. Bones that creak and pop. But at least the good news is that I usually don't hurt other people, just myself. Although I did once accidentally shut the dogs tail in the car door. But he only yelped and went back to wagging his tail... slinging blood all over the office of the kennel where we were gonna board him over a X-Mas vacation while we went to KC. I did find the tip of his tail in the door. I felt terrible for days afterwards.

Well see ya later. I need an aspirin, or on second thought, make that a morphine pill.